S/O to the Harvard student who faked a bomb threat this morning to get finals cancelled. Good to know smart kids are stressed too – @tayyq
One day I was, as usual, busy doing nothing and basically minding my own business as I waited for a lecturer to issue CAT questionnaire papers. No sooner had I seen the questions than it, momentarily, hit me that I may have accidentally stepped into a rocket science class? Of course it took a lot of convincing from my brain that the college I was at did not have a rocket science course and I could see my classmates; who were equally bemused at what the lecturer had set as exams.
What followed was an uproor I had never seen. The lecturer – realising that he could be the cause of a major protest, which (as we all know) is always accompanied by damage of property – decided to give us the CAT as a take away. And everyone left happy.
There are two types of people in campus. There are the sane ones. Then there are the idiots whose hands cannot stay down. They will raise their hands when the lecturer is just about to leave to ask an idiotic question like, “You forgot to collect the assignment you are yet to give us which I have done, or should I bring it to your office?” Sometimes, they even raise their hands just before the lecturer asks any question because they always know the answer.
Back to my boring story. The second CAT was three weeks from the first CAT. The sane people spent three weeks doing different things while those who couldn’t keep their hands down spent the entire three weeks trying not to be surprised by the second CAT as the first one had. Some of us only remembered there was a CAT a day before the CAT. Based on the happenings of the first CAT, we got an idea which was flawless. We were going to stage a repeat of what had happened in the first CAT and get a takeaway, again. Clever, yes?
I strategically sat at the front. Immediately the lecturer stepped in, there was a bigger uproor than the first time. And that was the first mistake. The lecture hall was charged. Some people were so intoxicated that their breath would make any alcoblow gadget malfunction. I tried signalling people to calm their tushies down and stick to the plan ie, start making noise after they get the questionnaire, but it was in vain.
When all was calm, the lecturer proceeded to give out the papers. I got mine and pretended to look at it in disbelief. Just when I was about to raise my hand, the lecturer went like, “Greatrnk, I believe you have something to say!” Let me get a few facts out first. First, the lecturer had just blown my one and only chance of me raising my hand in his class. Second, the plan was that I was to raise my hand and tell the lecturer that the CAT was hard and we could not do it. Third, how the hell did the lecturer know my name? Fourth, there must have been a snitch somewhere!!!!! Fifth, the lecturer had just pulled a “Can’t-keep-my-hand-down” on me, a student!!!!!
After a pin-drop silence, I finally found my tongue, and in a shrill voice, I was like, “I am sorry, sir, but we cannot do this CAT. You haven’t taught us these things!” I looked back at the class and gave them that, “Now would be a good time to make that noise!” signal. Everyone suspected, just as I did, that there must have been a snitch. Someone who couldn’t keep their hands down and their words in their mouth.
The lecturer came towards me and declared, “But your neighbour here is already in question three!” Mistake number two, sitting next to one of those who cannot keep their hands down! Let’s just say that between the lecturer who manned me the whole time, and the chop who was constantly smiling as I was scratching my head, it was a long 1 hour!
DURING EXAMS…Wakati wa exam invigilator anakam na kusema skip Q5 iko na shida yet io ndo ulikuwa umeangukia na umepata jibu….. – @munenelynx
Uko exam room alafu chopi fulani anaitisha graph paper na ushamaliza paper na hujaona mahali inatumika. – @tintseh